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The story below is written in two languages, Boontling on the left, and English on the right. The Boontling version, however, is not written exactly as the story would have been spoken by a true Boont harper. It's much too long . Boontling was a spoken, not a written language, and it was spoken amongst people with a similar regional and cultural knowledge. Many words were derived from notable past events, the personal characteristics of valley residents, even geographic areas. For Boonters who knew the area, the people in it, and its history, two or three words could carry several sentences worth of information. To an outsider, however, without a knowledge of the associations and references, Boontling would make very little sense, even if they could understood the words being spoken. For the purpose of introducing Boontling to you, the uninitiated reader, we've retained words that would have been dropped.

Read through them both and see if you can identify the meaning of various words. One warning, keep a "loose feel" to your translation. Due to its shortened, and allusional nature Boont doesn't directly translate into English, or vice versa.

BOONTLING VERSION

Brightlighter 'n' eeld'm piked straightnecky moshe from Frisk to fogeater region for buckeyin' on thribble dee, greymatterin' to seep fratty in the Land of the Beeson Tree on the pike. Moshed on Boont, needeekin' 'n' neeshyin', deekin' on frattey nooks.

Pikin' on Mason-Dixon, 'n' KEEBARL! Moshe piked shaggish. "Serowlsh!" springkneed Brightlights, 'n' shied pikin' for parkin' on muzz creek. Loglifter dee before, 'n' ground was neeble. Brightlights deeked on moshe, 'n' harped, "Tire's strung, moshe's stook," on eeld'm. "I'll pike to Boont, deek for a walter levi, 'n' harp dear Charlie on a de-arkin' moshe."

Boonter piked up to harp or help. The bahl Boonter japed brightlighters to Boont with beamer 'n' bohoik, 'n' when Brightlights reached for his ose pocket, Boonter shied before Brights could harp on higgin'.

Brightlighter teleef'ned de-arker, 'n' piked to Buckhorn gorm 'n' horn sale. Osed down in hornin' region, 'n' harped on the kimmie for dubs Boont steinbers. Horned a slib, then a rauncher, 'n' with socker almittey, harped "Eee-Tah! Boont region frattey's bahl, but Boont steinber's bahlness! " Eeld'm harped "Yibe, neepikin' neemer." They higged on a sluggin' nook at hewtle, 'n' shied briney region for Boont Region.

Thribful dees, piked 'n' deeked on bahl Boont region, hornin' 'n' gormin', higgin' 'n' harpin', burlin' 'n' bohoikin'.

Sundee, as ol' sol piked to dusties, shied Boont Region, moshe re-cloddied. "We'll pike back," kimmie harped on eeld'm. "Earth," dame harped back, "Boont's wee 'n' ridgy, but plenty bahl."

ENGLISH VERSION

A man and his wife who lived in the city were driving their BMW through Anderson Valley, from San Francisco to the Mendocino coast, on a three day weekend, for a little rest and relaxation. They figured they would pass through Anderson Valley to sample some of the local wines on the drive. They drove through Boonville without a glance and stopped for nothing, intent on finding the wineries and their tasting rooms.

They were about three miles west of Boonville, not quite to Philo, when BANG! The car slewed about and became difficult to handle. "Damn!" yelled the man, as he pulled off the road to park on the shoulder. There had been a torrential rainstorm the day before, which left the ground very soft and muddy. The man got out and examined the car for damage, and reported to his wife that not only was the tire flat, but that they were pretty well stuck in the mud. "I'll walk back to the small town we just passed through, Boonville, and look for a pay phone. I can call for a tow truck and ask them to come help us out."

Just then a fellow pulled over to talk to the couple in trouble, and see if he could help. He was a Boonville resident, and a good, kind man, and he gave the visitors a ride back into Boonville with a bright smile and a good natured laugh. Upon being dropped off in Boonville, the city fellow began to reach for his back pocket, where he kept his wallet. The local, realizing what the man intended to do, quickly excused himself and drove away before the tourist could even offer to pay for the ride they had received.

The couple found a pay phone, and called for the local tow truck, then walked to the Buckhorn Saloon to wait for its arrival. They sat at the bar, and the man called to the bartender for two of the local brews. He took a small sip of the beer, then a long draught, and with a resounding belch, the man exclaimed "Wow! The wines of Anderson Valley are good, but this beer is the best I've ever tasted! " His wife tried her ale, and agreed. "Yeah, you're right. Know what? Let's not drive any further. Let's stay right here." They changed their weekend plan then and there, forgot about the coast, and rented a room at the local hotel.

For the whole three days they wandered around Boonville, enjoying the beautiful scenery, eating and drinking at the restaurants, shopping and talking, making love and laughing.

On Sunday evening, as the sun was setting, they left Boonville, headed for home, with a new tire on their BMW, to replace the flat. We'll be back," he said to his wife. "Definitely," she replied. "It's small and rustic, but it's a great place."