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I, BEER THRALL
Little Green Kegs and Hamms
I will not drink them on a train.
I will not drink them in a plane.
I will not drink them from a height.
I'll drink them not, they have no bite.
I will not drink the lawn mower beer.
Lest beer snob buddies think me
queer*
.
Turn up my nose at macro brew.
The mainstream beers I must eschew.
I will not drink green kegs and cans
I would not like them Sam I am.
..... Or would I ?
In the Beginning
In the beginning the large breweries were leading the charge towards less
flavorful beers. Lighter was better, and, for us, that's what, started the
rebellion. We didn't want less filling, less taste. We were looking for flavor.
And the mantra was more. More of everything. More hops, more malt, more
filling, more taste, more flavor. We didn't even care if it had more flaws and
cost more too, we were willing to pay, as long as it was not bland. So we
turned our backs on our big brothers.
The first Micro brews were strange things indeed, equipment scavenged from
other food industries, cobbled together in backyards or warehouses, with
engineering as strange as the beer that it would create. The beers were
something to behold too; wild with esters (or sometimes infections), only
vaguely in a style and designed for punch not panache. Yet they sold, not
necessarily because they were great, but because there were people willing to
brave the weird beers in the search for something more interesting.
The brewers, mostly self trained home brewers, kept at it; honing their skills,
reading what little there was to read. The beers slowly got better. Then came
the explosion - the micobrewery "craze" with it's double digit growth and it's
muti-million dollar expansions. Breweries grew like radioactive mushrooms.
Millions of dollars were invested, partners and bankers were invited in, some
breweries even went public and took on share holders. Things got a little bit
crazy in Micro town. The stakes were high. There was too much money involved to
let some hippie-dippy home brewer to run things now. The owners realized it,
the new partners realized it and the brewers realized it too. They needed
education, training and expertise .... and there was only one place to find it.
The big breweries and their allied organizations.
We were lucky. They were willing to share with us. They didn't exactly welcome
us with open arms but they recognized us as brothers and took us in. There was
understanding on both sides that we each had something to offer the other one.
And there was a free exchange of information, and beers.
Rediscovering old friends
It's a not a rough job being a snob. It's hard not to have prejudices. It is
just easier to feel good about yourself when there are others you can put down,
it's human nature, and I admit I'm guilty of it too sometimes.
There we all were, the mega brewer to the mini-micro, milling about in the
reception hall of some brewers gathering. We had all brought some of our own
beers. I'm standing in a clump of tentative microbrewers. Somebody is saying;
"Big mouth bottles with those peel off tops, I use to love those, but I haven't
had one in years". He grabs one, pops it open, and we pass it around. It tastes
like high school and reminds one of old drinking buddies. Yeah sure, it's
wasn't the best beer I'd ever had but it was pretty good .... and after all it
had won a gold medal at the GABF that year. We start to try other beers and
soon we are having a good time, mingling with the bigger brewers who were
trying some of our wares. Then the damage was done; they no longer saw us as
just long hair freaks and we stop thinking of them as industrial plant manager.
We were all brewers with ideas to exchange.
A lot of microbrewers have been drinking mainstream beers on the sly for years.
I know of one group who, once a week, would sneak across the tracks for an
afternoon of PBRs at a local road house. I know another brewer who's morning
favorite is pancakes and Budweiser, and a Micobrewery owner who will only drink
AB products. And honestly how many of us haven't spent several hours (hundreds
in my case) drinking Lucky Lager and trying to figure out those damn rebus
puzzles ??
The truth be told there are a lot of good beers made in the larger breweries of
America. Some have been around a long time, like Coors Extra Gold, or
Balintine's IPA, and others are new like Henry's Porter or Pig's Eye Pilsner.
The microbrewery revolution has spawned a lot of changes throughout the
industry. It was an easy guess that the big guys would eventually get into the
Craft beer segment, and you might not have been too surprised to see contract
brewers build their own breweries, but who would have guessed that microbrewers
would start to make forays into the traditional stronghold of the national
brewers. That's what is happening. The HOPS! - Bistro and Brewery took a medal
in the American-style dark lager category behind Michelob a few year ago at the
GABF, and Phantom Canyon brewery edged out St. Ides for a silver medal in the
American-style specialty lager (aka malt liquor) category. There are other
small brewers trying their hand at these beers too. Kyle at the Wynkoop has
made a couple of malt liquors and the Elysian brewery is having great success
with their new high octane malt beverage named (tongue placed firmly in cheek)
- AK 47.
I know some of you reading this must be thinking the worlds being turned upside
down. It's beer Armageddon: Contract brewers owning breweries, big brewers
making craft beers, small brewers making malt liquors (and naming them after
guns for #@*! sake), micros selling out to macros, beer writers telling us we
should embrace it all. What's the world come to ?
The brewing industry is a dynamic one, it is changing all the time. Some of
these changes will be good .... some won't be. There really are not that many
differences between the Macros and the Micros. If we stand together we will be
stronger against outside forces, forces that would take away or limit our
industry and our livelihood (not to mention the kind of beers we could drink).
What really matter is professional unity and product diversity. Don't let
prejudices dissuade you. You have to drink what you like and luckily for us in
America today there is a beer for every taste and every occasion.
In this world of change and confusion it's comforting to know that sanctuary is
just around the corner in the form of the old familiar six pack. Yes, I know, I
will say it's true, there is some crappy mega brew, but I have tried some good
ones too, and have had my share of bad micro brew. So the next time your in the
local store, a six pack of beer your about to score, give some thought to Sam I
am, and the guy who hated green eggs and ham.
.... or did he ?
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Fal (Lucky Lager) Allen is the former
GM at Anderson Valley Brewing Company. He is also co-author of the new book
Barley Wine - #11 in the Classic Beer Styles Series.
(Did we mention that you
can
order that book online
?)
*
The author would like to note
that the term "queer" used herein is defined as
"odd or unconventional, eccentric". The author and publisher are committed to
equal rights for all people regardless of race, creed, color, gender, or sexual
orientation.
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